So no matter what a mother does, ultimately children learn how to make their own way, even if its not the best path.My 18 year old has decided to move out; she’s still in high school. On the surface this seems like not a big deal, however she’s also have several other ‘issues’; moving out was a way of not having to deal with the serious nature of the problems she’s having.

So everyone has told me, she’s 18, you are not responsible, liable, or obligated to worry, stress, intervene or otherwise change her course of direction in her life any more. I’ve accepted that, though my sub-conscious is still wrestling with the idea.

Honestly though, I think I’m more surprised that the “tough love” attitude I’ve taken hasn’t been harder than it has. I mean there’s the worry (she has a place to stay, food to eat, etc., so she’s safe), and the wishing it would be a different way, and knowing that years down the road she’s going to regret the decision (there’s just no doubt in my mind) but she’s an adult now. She’s free to choose choice A over choice B, AND to suffer any and all consequences that may or may not result from the decision, just like all other adults.

Is this like when they’re 2, and you’re watching them with wobbly legs try to get their balance, and you can see the foot, moving in the wrong direction to keep balance, and you have to force yourself NOT to run over and move their foot in the right place? My guess is its exactly the same, only 16 years later!

Advertisements