I have an easy time giving away parts of me to people in my life (literally and figuratively – ha) but committing to stuff for myself is a bit trickier. I’ve recently broken away from a destructive relationship. Two people who care about each other but make each other completely miserable because they can’t quite understand where the other person is really coming from.

It’s time to stop committing myself to other people and their needs and focus on what I want. Who am I? What do I really want in life?

I’m possibly moving back to the West Coast in a month and this will be my third time “starting over” per se in Los Angeles. I know myself better now than I have ever in my life and know that this time it will be truly successful for me in all senses of the word.

What have I learned in my time here in Chicago?

I’ve learned that although I know I want a family someday, I’m not quite ready for it yet. I know that I want that loving relationship, but I need to wait for the right person to come along and not try to fit a square peg into a round hole. I’ve learned that no matter what, I am a good person at heart and nobody can tell me differently. I know that I still have the ability to make new friends and keep my old ones despite our distance. I am capable of getting close to my family in a way that has been difficult in the past. I am a strong woman and can get through anything life throws in my face. I am a survivor and sometimes that means allowing others to help you. It also means taking the bull by the horn and standing up for yourself. I’ve learned that “family” means many different things to me. I’ve learned that sitting within yourself, breathing and taking a step back from the world is a-ok. I’ve learned that I don’t want to become a fat old wench and am taking steps to improve my life. I loved playing sports when I was a kid and I am so happy that I found a new community to share that with.

I have learned a lot during the past two years here. I am so very happy that I came home and tried to see what it was like back here. I truly enjoy Chicago and if things were different, I might have stayed, however, there is a calling for me out in LA. I feel it in my bones and I hope this new job works out so I can really start fulfilling MY dreams. 🙂