I know everyone thinks they have the best girlfriends on the face of the planet, but I just wanted to prove, once and for all, that actually, I do. Why? Because my Girlfriends make me say:


Case in point. Here’s a series of emails that made the rounds in my book group. If this doesn’t make you laugh, you’re worrying too much about lost sheep.

EMAIL FROM GIRLFRIEND #1 (mother of Lucy and Henry):

I just realized that while I was giving birth, the nice nurses at Swedish [Hospital] gave me a partial lobotomy. Which really explains quite a lot. It also explains my following questions:

1. when is the next book group?
2. is it at my house?
3. will I need a baby sitter?
4. what did we decide in the way of “second Tuesday” or “eighth Wednesday” of the month?
5. why did I willingly choose to have kids if this is what happens to one’s brain?
6. and while we’re at it, why are my boobs so very floppy?
7. has anyone seen the missing sheep (the white one) that goes with Lucy’s Noah’s Ark set?

Thanks for your patience.
Amnesic Annie

REPLY FROM GIRLFRIEND #2 (mother of 1, preggo with numero dos):

1. March 8th, 6:30
2. No, it’s at my house
3. Don’t know. Talk to your husband.
4. Don’t know, but I am pretty sure that it’s not 8th wed.
5. You know
6. Just look on the bright side: Now that your belt can double as a bra, you’ll be saving lots of money by not needing to purchase the latter. (Maybe enough for a boob job.)
7. I don’t know but you better find it. The future of sheep depends upon it.

REPLY FROM GIRLFRIEND #3 (preggo with numero uno):

Actually, they must give the lobotomy sometime around your first prenatal appointment, so it’s surprising that I actually have a couple of these answers:

– I have it on my calendar for Girlfriend #2’s house on Friday the 8th. I even read the book!
– I unfortunately can’t answer #4.
– The answer to #5 is “Henry and Lucy.”
– #6 is something I can tell I’m going to have to discover in a few months (I’ve got some large and very temporary melons myself).
– The answer to #7 is “under the sofa.”

Now my (partial) brain is tired from all this brilliance and I’ll have to go take a nap.

REPLY FROM GIRLFRIEND #4 (mother of 2):

okay- mamma mucky mind is going for partial credit:

march 8th and according to “soon january returns kiilling joy” [our mnemonic for whose turn it is to host book group] we should be meeting at Girlfriend #2’s house.

since your kids are not official members they really shouldn’t come, so with whom you leave your kids is up to you.

we decided on second thursday i think (this is where i get vague).

no one disclosed that mental lapses happened with child raising because the only people who know about this phenomena are parents and they forget to tell us.

your boobs can be likened to a rubber balloon that has been blown up very large and is now deflated and hence appears neither filled to firmness nor likely to rise skyward anytime soon.

[Reply was cut short as Girlfriend #4 went on hands and knees in search of her own kids’ lost sheep. After all, as Girlfriend #2 said, the future of sheep depends upon it.]

Eegads, I love my Girlfriends.

Girlfriends + Motherhood + Sense of Humor = everything’s gonna be all right

Janna, aka Happily Even After, 35, Seattle