Happy birthday to me! Not that I really care about birthdays at this time in my life, but it’s kinda nice to have a day that’s mine.

At the moment I’m not in a particularly good mood–sometimes I think I expect too much out of holidays and birthdays, like they’re going to be better just because they’re supposed to be. So I keep thinking rainbows should appear for no reason, my husband should offer to stay home and watch the baby while I go shopping all day and people I haven’t heard from for years should be calling me to say hi. And my cough should stop. None of that has happened, but my mother-in-law did call me. Southwest Airlines and Bluemountain.com sent me birthday greetings, and Borders and Sephora sent me extra e-mail coupons. And the cat threw up again. The first thing my husband says to me upon entering the house after work is, “Any special reason you didn’t clean that up?” Whoopee. Ah yes, my special day.

But in general, in my thirties I’m more comfortable with myself than I’ve been and I don’t feel like I’ve got anything to prove. My teens were all about trying to be cool; my twenties about discovering who I was. In my thirties I forged new roads and created new identities for myself; I quit a horrible meaningless job interviewing celebrities and discussing hair and makeup to start my own pet-sitting business. Three years after, I quit the business, satisfied that I could have made it as much of a success as I wanted to–but my heart wasn’t in it because I’m just not a businesswoman. I had a new baby to take care of, too. Today I’m content with being an occasional writer and a not-quite-perfect mom. I care less about others’ opinion of me. I’m just doing my own thing and that’s enough. For now.

And If my birthday isn’t the happiest day ever, that’s okay. I’m over it. Besides, it’s looking up. My husband’s home so he can take over baby duty for a while, which means I don’t have to deaden his brain cells with television anymore. They got me presents, which I believe they’re wrapping for me at this very moment. In just a couple of hours the sitter comes and we’re going to see The Killers play in Hoffman Estates. So I’m sure I’ll feel better soon!

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