Have you seen the film “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”? I loved it, but this summer we will be having “My Big Fat Jewish wedding” outside London and I’m cringing.

Legally speaking, we are already married. Last month we had a French civil ceremony in Paris. The major, knowing he had a captive audience, gave a speech on local Green politics (the Presidential elections are next month so you can’t blame him). It was a lovely day with just our closest family and a few of our closest friends, lunch at a great restaurant overlooking Notre Dame, a walk on the banks of the Seine – perfect, relaxed.

I know there are girls who dream their whole lives about exactly what their weddings will be like, they know what dress they will wear, what the flowers will be like and in some cases who they’ll marry – but I am just not one of those girls. I hate being centre of attention. I have visions of myself this summer as one of the hippos from “Fantasia” squeezed into a lacy dress, standing under the chuppah, beetroot-red with embarrassment, wishing I was anywhere else.

‘The mamas’ (one New York Jewish, the other Swiss-Belgian Jewish) have bloomed into fully fledged wedding planners such is their absolute delight.

So why are we doing it you ask? Well, as my mother (the Swiss-Belgian mama) who has a PhD in Jewish guilt tactics puts it, there are so few opportunities in life to be joyous – you gotta celebrate any chance you have. So relatives are jetting in from the four corners of the globe; venue, rabbi, kosher caterer and klezmer band are all booked.

Don’t get me wrong, I want to celebrate! I love the traditions of a Jewish wedding and if I had the choice, it would be a small, intimate ceremony with just the closest of friends and family. But, lists start getting written, family politics come into play and you start compromising to keep everybody happy. As my family told me – “it’s not your wedding, its all of ours”. So “we” are getting married again this summer..

Janette, 33, Paris, France